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In My Heart, Caligula

I’ve been in this war for years.

Fighting tooth and nail, tearing down barriers and walls.

But its all for nothing

I have nothing left.

The spark that shown in my eyes has went out

The fire in my heart 

Extinguished.

The skin is unfamiliar to me

I know not who I am

Are my needs and desires to grand to be filled?

Am I being punished for something?

Who was I

The life I had before this one

Was it filled with pain and suffering of others

Is that why I feel this all now?

All that I love is dying.

All that was just within a fingers reach

Violently ripped away.

I’m so heavy.

I cannot look up anymore.

The weight of it all

Unbearable. 

I was so strong.

I was an immovable force.

Not a soul could harm me.

But myself. 

Blood has been shed.

Promises have been made and broken

So much was riding on success

We are conditioned to be the best

The achieve 

Top be at the top

But what happens when we can’t reach it

What happens when you’ve let yourself down

What happens when the people rooting for you have gone?